THE 7 HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE: HABIT 4: THINK WIN-WIN
Think Win-Win isn't about being nice, nor is it a quick-fix technique. It is a character-based code for human interaction and collaboration.
Most of us learn to base our self-worth on comparisons and competition. We think about succeeding in terms of someone else failing-that is, if I win, you lose; or if you win, I lose. Life becomes a zero-sum game. There is only so much pie to go around, and if you get a big piece, there is less for me.
Win-win sees life as a cooperative arena, not a competitive one. Win-win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win-win means agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial and satisfying. We both get to eat the pie!
A person or organization that approaches conflicts with a win-win attitude possesses three vital character traits:
Integrity: sticking with your true feelings, values, and commitments.
Maturity: expressing your ideas and feelings with courage and consideration for the ideas and feelings of others.
Abundance Mentality: believing there is plenty for everyone.
Many people think in terms of either/or: either you are nice or you are tough. Win-win requires that you be both. It is a balancing act between courage and consideration. To go for win-win, you not only have to have empathy, but you also have to be confident. You not only have to be considerate and sensitive, you also have to be brave.
To do that -to achieve that balance between courage and consideration- is the essence of real maturity and is fundamental to win-win.