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The twelve-tenses challenge

6 years ago
I am not quite sure whether this be the right section for this topic, nevertheless I am giving it a go. The challenge is the following:
Try making (no more than) one long sentence wherein (no fewer than) twelve tenses are formulated. It is imperative that a tense not be employed more than once! Here is my paradigm:

Although I usually deem the conversations with Craig rather invigorating, once we had been through the longest topic of our last phone-call, I came to the shocking realisation that we had been chit-chatting for well over an hour; be that as it may, I am wonderingwill you be going to a supermarket on your way home now, because by the time gaining the nearest one hence, it is going to have been closed already; and to be perfectly honest, I shall have been staying awake for twenty-four hours soon; thus in conclusion since I have not been able to acquire a decent amount of sleep for a goodly while, plus considering the fact that I have been getting a wee of work-overload of late, I was hoping that you will happen to pass by a shop and buy me a can of energy drink.